so i’ve seriously been way too busy to post, but i’ve been thinking about taking this blog in a different direction since I’ve changed interests. I’ve been really into this witchy aesthetic lately and I’d like to do some tarot readings for myself, as well as making different things to help with my mental state since I’ve been really depressed lately.
I just went to see a star is born and I’m literally just sitting on my bed, crying, and listening to the soundtrack. The song “Always remember us this way” literally gets me every single time. I’m not gonna spoil anything but goddamnnnnnnnn. it’s so good.
um why are these two people so freaking beautiful. watching this movie literally made me fall in love with lady gaga all over again. i loved her in american horror story, but wow. this made me love her even more.
so here’s a little life update for you. i did a whole lot today, it was an unusually busy day. i hadn’t had much sleep from my nightmare last night, but i drank my usual coffee and i got ready for the day.
after a few hours i decided to go thrifting!!! which is one of my favorite things to do. I found this super cute outfit that I decided to take a pic & share with you guys! ❤
also i was texting my boyfriend last night and he was being so sweettttt!!!! i love it! but side note wtf is up with the “…”???? like that’s literally so ominous.
okay so last night i had a full blown nightmare and i woke up in a cold sweat at 3am and i wrote down the dream in my notes, but i haven’t been able to type it up all day. so anyway here’s how it goes;
I was working at Walmart and my friends and I were joking around while we were working. All of a sudden we decided to go to this party and we all got drunk and we left the building down this really creepy spiral staircase and there was no railing on the staircase so it would be extremely easy to fall down, which is exactly what happened to my friend. He fell all the way to the bottom of the stairs and we raced down to check on him. Once I realized that he was alive and okay I decided to walk up a few steps and just wait while he regains his balance and everything. All my friends were helping him and making sure that he’s okay except for one that was playing with my hair. I looked closer and I noticed that all four of my friends from Walmart are over by the guy that fell, but if that was the case I was wondering who the hell was caressing my hair. Instead of feeling safe I get this immediate sense of panic and my heart starts racing. I call out, “Show me your hands…” and instead of a reply I can feel the hands run through my hair again. This time I glance around and I first notice a pair of dirty feet. When I look up I see a woman with green eyes, her dilated pupils staring right at me. She lets out this screech and that’s when I wake up, terrified and sweating.
I did some research and the best thing that i could come up with to interpret this is that possibly I’m repressing some feelings, and I’m not being true to myself. This is represented by the pair of green eyes from that woman. I think it means that I’m afraid of my true emotions or afraid of who I really am??
alrighty so lets just get right into it. my dream last night began at this carnival. i was with my little brother and sister and we were walking around looking at all of the food, rides, and games. i saw this really cool ice cream food stop, but i wasn’t able to eat at it because i’m lactose intolerant. we walked past that to this awesome funhouse that had these interesting looking creatures in separate rooms. one room has this black eel-like creature that had violet stripes along it’s body. it was floating in the air, and i noticed that it looked as if it was swimming, but there was no water in the room. the next room we went to had a cloud shaped creature that was a baby blue color. i can’t really remember all of the creatures that were in the rooms, but after we got through all of it we got a prize. the price was this really cool floating ball. i wasn’t really sure what it was for, but i was glad to have a prize. so i hopped on the ball and i was suddenly able to fly. it was so freaking cool. i just flew around the place on a ball. i flew over the carnival over to this beautiful turquoise lake. i noticed all of the large salmon that were swimming around the lake. i landed on the sidewalk that was along the lake, and i began walking. the lake was so incredibly peaceful compared to the noisy and chaotic carnival. it was at this point in my dream that my mom decided to walk in a rudely interrupt this awesome dream. i was extremely annoyed lol.
so to interpret what this means the carnival part of my dream represents me yearning for a change in my life. the lake/peaceful part of my dream means that i’m holding back feelings/emotions. which is actually true. i’ve been holding back some things because i’m afraid of getting hurt, but i think that it’ll benefit me to just let go and feel what i wanna feel. live my life, ya know?
okay so usually i remember more and more of my dream as i type it out so that’s what i’m gonna do. sorry if it’s kind of all over the place.
the dream begins in this apocalyptic world where there are zombies that search for people in groups to kill. i was with my cousin in this dream, and we’re just going from house to house trying to find food and a place to stay for the night. we found one decent-sized house that we decided to stay in for the night. we first checked the place out to make sure there was no zombies hiding around in an unchecked room. after we were satisfied that there was no zombies we hunkered down. i began to search the cabinets for food, but i wasn’t able to find any. i quickly realized that we needed to find a source of food fast or we were going to starve. there was a knock on the door and my cousin and I were so scared because we thought we were the only ones left alive. we opened the door to find some rando dude who was begging us to make a trade. he was impossibly skinny which led me to believe that he was having the same issue we were experiencing–lack of food. i agreed to making a trade, but i told him that all i had was two pennies. he begged me for them and me being the nice and trusting gorl that i am i allowed the trade to happen. in return he gave me this tiny, shriveled up walnut and i was like, “dude what the heck are we supposed to do with a walnut??” and he just laughed and said, “I gotta survive somehow..” and away he went. i felt so bamboozled and angry because not only were we left with a walnut for food, we were also left penniless. i’m not really sure what the pennies would do for us food-wise, but i felt that they were important to me. after that ridiculous exchange we decided that we weren’t going to stay at this house, especially since we had no food and no money. we ditched the place and went outside to hop in our decked out zombie-killing truck. we drove off into this purple mist and that was the end of the dream.
as far as dreams go this was probably my most normal one lol. to interpret my dream i would have to say that there is someone in my life that i’m trusting and they are gonna screw me over in the end. also i don’t know why but all my dreams have me dealing with a toxic person wtf lol.
- Santeria by Sublime (favorite song of all time!!!)
- Beautiful Disaster by 311
- Addicted by Saving Abel
- What I got by Sublime
- Somebody told me by the killers
- Scar Tissue by Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Paint it black by The Rolling Stones
- Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis
- Wrong way by Sublime
- The Joker by Steve Miller Band